I sometimes wonder if perhaps Rome was founded by two dudes who absolutely drank wolf milk
I sometimes wonder if those dudes were the sons of mars
Okay, but here me out. What if all the soldiers of Thebes (the kinda coolish Greek one, not the hella coolish Egyptian one) were just the teeth of dragons, and they fought one another until only the strongest survived, and then those survivors became a middling city state that still got Spartans to STFU about being based at long last?
were just the teeth of dragons, and they fought one another until only the strongest survived,
then the dragon wakes up to find it’s been grinding its teeth again
The Rome is stored in the wolf
Rome is on an incredibly good spot for a settlement, and has probably been occupied constantly ever since there have been people in the area. It was almost certainly not “founded” by anyone. This is your brain on Great Man ideology.
I am under the impression the “founded by children raised by wolves” just referred to whatever dynasty people liked back then having started by a nomadic army just taking over and declaring themselves the kings. Which was super common historically.
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Very few cities have an explicit founder unless they’re relatively modern. The vast majority of settlements throughout human history just built up in good locations on their own. You’re completely right, the conservative/liberal mind seems to be incapable of comprehending groups of people doing something on their own. They have to have a brilliant leader who told them to build a city.
One of the funniest things here is that unlike heavily mythologized figures like Gilgamesh or various biblical leaders Rome’s legendary founder isn’t even believed to have existed at all. Like they didn’t just make up stories about some old king, he was just invented and named after the city relatively late in its existence. It’d be like if America’s civic cult developed to the point that “Uncle Sam” was written into the historical record as a literal demigod who built Jamestown by himself and led a bloody crusade across the continent before writing the constitution himself.
I think it comes from north america brain/settler brain, where settlers roll in, kill/replace the original inhabitants who were living there for millennia, and “found” a “new” settlement that you can assign a founder to. Then you export that way of thought to places where it has no basis in reality and you end up with roman statue avatar twitter guys (and musk apparently) actually believing that cities that have existed since cities began could have singular founding figures and didn’t organically emerge because it’s a good place to settle down
Iirc, we even have evidence of wars fought between the inhabitants of the different hills of rome, implying that it is such a good place for a settlement that multiple groups settled there before growing too large to be supported by the resources available on their hill alone.
They have to have a brilliant leader
(almost no women)
With my vast Civilization experience I can confidently inform you that Beijing was founded by Mao Zedong in 4000 BC.
well someone founded it but Rome wasn’t built in a day
Rome was started by a wolf with huge titties
This is canon
WARNING
OwO :3
can youtube ban history youtubers already
can youtube ban
historyyoutubersalready
Dawg we tried meritocracy, it was called Confucianism and the Imperial Test.
Wondering if this is because that meme that went around about how some (white) men think about Rome at least once a day. Probably felt he was missing out so vomited up this nonsense.
Wondering if this is because that meme that went around about how some (white) men think about Rome
you are a Visigoth auxiliary in the Roman Gaul. the year is 452AD, you have received grim news about the bleeding on the Catalaunian plains . As you are on your daily patrol, the ground starts to tremble,
you are going to die
There is some evidence of sub-mycenean/Luwian settlements in Apulia, which may be the core of the myth. But thinking something invented by Virgil 1500 years later is literally true is bizarre
To think you’re the first person to think of it is even weirder lol.
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What do you mean? Jumping to spurious conclusions based on gut feelings and vague word associations is definitely a valid methodology that certainly doesn’t rehash word for word the exact same random theories by anglo aristocrat failsons in the 19th century when they took time off their phrenology blogging to go look at a collection of looted artifacts/contemporary forgeries.
well they are the idiots inventing “worse version of a bus system” and calling it a startup.
really? any links i can read?
This pdf (requires a login, alas) was my first introduction to the subject. There’s also a few scholars that think the Etruscan language has a Luwian substrate but they’re considered a bit fringe, especially those who say Etruscan is an Anatolian Indo-European language.
finally that horrinle account pays off! thank you much
I’m willing to bet that there was more than one occasion of competent soldiers who were mostly men to land on the Italian peninsula during all of Antiquity.
imagining a classical roman rejecting the aeneid on the basis the trojans couldnt have been men if they lost to the greeks
CEO saying to a board: “we need an innovative idea, because we need something new.” moment
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That’s so 2000 and late, where’s the AI?
AI is from back in the 1980s in the movie Weird Science.
It’s always comforting to know that I’m smarter than the richest man in the world
he’s defintiely not the richest anymore tho
absolutely the most divorced, though
It’s downright embarrassing that this guy is an oligarch. Capitalism is so fucking dumb.
One could simply enter a walled city by concealing soldiers in a gigantic, hollow wooden horse! I wonder if this was ever attempted by the ancient Greeks?
He’s definitely jacking off while he types this, both to the few ships of competent soldiers, and to the founding myth of Rome, imagining something similar on mars.
Competent soldiers (almost no women) is definitely in his browser history.
he’s got binders full of competent soldiers (and almost no women)
I love the casual homophobia. Like when libs Photoshop Putin kissing other men as some kind of sick burn
Guess he answered the “how often do you think about Ancient Rome” question.
Only good response to this was Amber Rollo tweeting that her boyfriend thinks about way more empires than your boyfriend
Amber.
Stand down, different one
ngl that would be a funny bit if Musk started a whole ass Twitter thread rephrasing the entirety of the Aeneid in his usual raving manner, screeching about weapons and some dude from Troy
Is Grimes Dido in this narrative?
Dido
this brings back memories of the time i had to read a few paragraphs of the aeneid aloud in 7th grade but my friend changed Dido to Dildo with a pencil while i was reading and i got in trouble for laughing.
Actually, the Latins were one of the Italic people, a bronze age culture that formed from groups that migrated to Italy from Central Europe. Their founding myth formed as they took on elements of Greek mythology and grafted it onto their largely Etruscan-inspired cultural practices - it’s like the Spartans saying they were all descended from Heracles, not something that’s meant to be taken as literal truth, but something that they believed very strongly and informed their culture on many levels.
“I sometimes wonder if perhaps” the italic people migrated to italy because they were pushed out of central europe by the bold and underline people
