Our demands
Return the site’s moderation practice to it’s former, libs-banned-on-site glory.Move forward to a new, glorious form of banning theory inspired by TC69 thought, while learning from it’s mistakes, and listening to neurodivergent comrades- Reinvigorate the heart of this site’s community, c/furry
- Remove r*ddit karma
You can check her pronouns right there through the link. There’s no excuse to misgender hir.
In no way am I intending to misgender them. They is generally accepted as a non gendered pronoun unless someone specifically asks not to be referred to as them. I don’t really know them well enough to know their opinion on it. I’m open to hearing other opinions from trans comrades here about it but all the trans folks I know in real life (many, including my partner) have informed me many times that they/them as a default for someone you don’t know is generally accepted as fine. I don’t really want to start a struggle session on it but I am happy to listen and learn from trans comrades here too and take that conversation to the trans folks dear to me
There’s a tendency among people in general to misgender trans women and specifically trans women by referring to them with singular ‘they’ despite the fact that other pronouns are clearly listed at the top of their profiles. I had actually been reading a few posts on a different site today by trans women I know being affected by this same phenomenon, which was one of the reasons I was particularly peeved.
I think that in the digital era it’s very inexcusable to get the wrong pronouns for someone: you’re always just one or two mouse clicks away from knowing someone’s pronouns (since they’re always in someone’s profile 99% of the time). I understand that you might not have meant anything by it! I myself was affected by a bunch of internalized transmisogyny
for some time
what milistanaccount09 said was bananas and sounds like TC69 thought. milistanaccount09 is a 2 month old user, and you and D61 are here 3 years so i dont think youre transphobes. milistanaccount09 should have clicked your profile link and figured out the intent instead of going rabid.
Just because someone has been here three years doesn’t exempt them from criticism. For all you know, milistanaccount09 maybe a long time poster who started a new account.
isnt “they” is what people use when they don’t know the gender? I use it all the time in help desk tickets since many names i couldn’t guess the gender. ive been on this site too much and never seen someone be miffed about using “they.”
yeah but it also becomes the liberal’s version of misgendering for people who don’t 100% pass or who a lib just wants to be shitty to. It’s simply misgendering but with plausible deniability in many cases, so people on here (where basically everyone has pronouns listed) get a little touchy about it since there’s kinda no excuse at that point
yes, how dare that person(who commented above) not click the profile link and check out what a long inactive and once problematic admin preferred, instead of defaulting to “i don’t know.” What an egregious crime.
Let’s not be a parody of ourselves. It’s important to read a persons intent and not just their words.(which sounds like me being a lib, but it’s the internet. youre reading words without any tone or emotion so you have to process it differently)
Good thing I didn’t say that
I’m not saying crucify them, geez, I’m just explaining why it’s sometimes touchy despite generally being “the default when you don’t know”. That user is talking about how they were around at the time and knew her/were driven away by her, so idk, it’s not 100% unreasonable, esp considering gender figures heavily in her username, but it’s also almost certainly a misunderstanding. Still, no reason to be hostile to a minor correction either. It’s fine.
lotta liberals out there using “they” in an aggressive way? sure if you say so. In my experience liberals arent smart enough to know how to use the word “they” properly.
I’ve had it done to me before I started using she/they with the intent of refusing to accept that I’m a “real woman”. It tends to be used as a way to refuse to use someone’s correct pronouns, and instead handwave their identity as unimportant, but the lib still gets to feel progressive. Imo it’s only proper to use they/them as a default when you have no way of knowing someone’s pronouns.
It’s a Thing, yeah, idk what to tell you
oh it absolutely happens. i know a dude who self-ids as strictly gay but is dating a pre-everything trans woman and exclusively refers to her with they/them pronouns. just as a fun example.
just bc you haven’t encountered a behavior doesn’t make it imaginary, and this one is harmful to trans people.
The addition of the “and once problematic” bit makes it sound like you’re suggesting that she deserves to be misgendered some amount because you don’t respect her. I don’t expect that’s what you meant but you might want to change that wording.