I basically just want to know what you’d wish for if you didn’t worry about others. So that’s the real question, but it’s not as catchy. Three wishes for something only for you. If it helps then assume all the other stuff resolves itself.
The rule is spirit of the law. If you wish for something that happens to help others, it’s fine, but if you wish for something with the goal of doing something good for anyone but you, then you’re turned into Elon Musks right thumb (you retain sentience and sapience, but you’re a thumb. No ability to do anything and you don’t control yourself, Elon does, you’re his thumb.)
Example:
Okay: Your mom is sick and you wish for her to be cured, because you would miss your mom.
Not okay: Your mom is sick and you wish for her to be cured because she doesn’t want to be sick.
And don’t try to rules lawyer it, the genie will get you for that too.
Also only three wishes, it’s a limitation on the genie, not a rule. It’s physically incapable of it. It cannot give you more than three wishes, nor can it be made into something that can do that, nor can it make something that can do that, nor can it make something that can turn it into something that can do that.
Climate change makes me sad. Fix it.
No communism makes me sad. Fix it.
I wish I had my hair back. Just so I have the option of having it instead of having to be bald. Because I wonder if I remember what it’s like.
I wish I had my hair back
For some reason I thought this said “I wish I had hair on my back”
Maybe the monkey paw is actually well-meaning, but unfortunately misunderstands everyone and is really sad to see them disappointed with their wishes.
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End capitalism because I don’t want to show up for work.
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Create walkable cities because I hate driving.
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Eradicate all diseases because I don’t want to get Covid or the bird flu.
Classic communist wanting to genocide the poor defenceless bacilli
Literally me
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I’d wish for communism (it’s the system which benefits me the most)
No climate change (it’s in my best interest that the world does not continue to burn)
Immortality (because the world I wished for is the ideal paradise and would be better than whatever the fuck happens when you die.
With immortality there’s always the issue of being 100% guaranteed to spend centuries buried under dirt though.
That’s just an opportunity to reflect and experience ego death. Not entirely a bad thing
No longer physically disabled so i can do more things in life (im cool with keeping the autism), win one of those lotteries that gives you the money in increments so I can afford to leave any job whenever I want, and have my immigrant status being confirmed for obvious reasons
Ok now for some actual selfish wishes
Wish 1 Practical Immortality – No aging, no disease, no accidental deaths. I only die if I choose 2
Wish 2 (this ones for the Posadists) Full command over a high-tech Alien Invasion Fleet - Also has the implication that there are now 100% Aliens out there
Wish 3 Mindcontrol (All shall bow before their eternal empress) No but seriously with this I can make the world leaders who wont step down from my ayy lmaos bend the knee peacefully and avoid most of the large scale warfare . Time to start humanities golden Age I guess. I will be a merciful godess. I promise
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I wish that every species in the animal kingdom becomes immune to violence inflicted by humans.
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I wish that humans can develop magical abilities that strengthen with their willingness to empathize with other living creatures.
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I wish that everyone had the ability to learn the language of another person after a day of spending time with them.
you had one job!
Average communist who has claimed they’ve read Kapital
I’m using my wishes to turn the world into a magical setting and not setting myself up to be a healer, which I would do if magic existed and people were still fucking things up.
I wouldn’t say abysmal, but convoluted.
Would bacteria, fungus, parasites and viruses be covered by your first point? Cus that could be a major problem
Basically I want magical powers and to see what kind of world we can have where caring about others is a superpower.
Fantastic! No longer thumb
Good wishes! Sadly you are now a thumb. The wishes are still granted though, so you’re the thumb of a vegan instead, which could be worse. And people will be able to learn your thumb language.
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I wish for communism, because most work feels like bullshit
I wish for a dictatorship of the proletariat, because I had being led by sociopaths.
I wish for a red army, because I hate that shitty people have so much power.
My body cannot get damaged other than aging. Can do hella drugs without ruining my brain, and I will be cured of my chronic physical disabilities
No more insomnia, this is ruining my life for the past decade
A couple million USD
I’m a simple person, my physical and mental disabilities and need to work are like 99% of the problems in my life
I’d wish to be happy (gommulism)
And for your other two?
save em for a rainy day.
maybe one could be to erase myself from the irminsul when i get tired of everything
Ability to drink and eat whatever I want with no negative health affects.
10 mil.
Increase my charisma by like 10 points so I can [redacted by VolCel police].
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
I wish I was a little bit taller
I wish I was a baller
I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat and a bat and a '64 ImpalaYou wished for a wish too much you are now thumb (though taller thumb, baller thumb, with a girl who looks good thumb)
Jokes on you, I’m English, I was already a thumb
elon gives me all his property
zuck gives me all his property
bezos gives me all his property
genie doesn’t get to say shit about what i do with it.
becoming the super capitalist
I want $500
I want a signed picture of LeVar Burton
I want a 6 month supply of Bombay Sapphire
- I want to hang out with this cool internet stranger
- I want both of us to be immune to hangovers
- I want LeVar Burton to come hang out with us (he can get no-hangover powers too)
Best wishes award 4 u
Nice try. You’re not stealin’ MY wishes
Destruction of USA and world communism would make me personally happy. If that is not okay I would wish for passive income just enough so I don’t need to worry about future while living in a good home of my standards, a boat because I miss the feeling of waves on a ship and more fulfilling job with less work hours
