He was staring at the Reaper in the corner.

Every single day there are people within inches of him that could just have an “accident” like stepping on the back of his shoes causing him a nasty fall and literally none of these people do it.

SUFFER, DEMON!!

DIE MITCH DIE

I honestly cannot for the life of me understand why these fucks insist on holding onto power until their decrepit, ancient bodies begin failing one organ after another on live television. They are all incredibly rich because despite america somehow not being “corrupt” they make millions, tens of millions, and hundreds of millions of dollars while serving a lifetime making $200k per year. If I had a tenth of their wealth I would just fuck off and nobody would ever hear from me again.

he zones out for a full thirty seconds

Mitch’s brain:

“Please speak up”

Ah, yes, that was the problem.

And he survived?

I feel like I am watching a basketball circle around the rim

i want him to give a press conference every day until we get to see him die on live TV

Wednesday’s episode occurred when a reporter asked the Republican leader if he was planning to run for reelection in 2026.

Dude probably heard “2026”, his memory hasn’t been working since the 90s so he must have freaked out

“Holy shit I’ve time traveled”

die bitch

Are these people just not allowed to retire?

Imagine how often this is happening when he isn’t on camera, it’s probably his 10th one today