Just as the ducks at the park are free, there is also no legal requirement to answer the phone in particular way. Hit folks with a, “Ahoyhoy”, “Howdy”, “Whats good brother?”, or for the more adventurous, “Ralphs Roadkill Cafe. You kill it, we grill it.”
“Dave’s pizza and abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce” is a particularly spicy one I’ve heard.
“You rape em, we scrape em”
(I do not condone this message)
Jim’s abortion clinic … We deletus your fetus
Fetus Deletus was my favorite spell to cast at Hogwarts.
My go to is “Yellow”
Mine is somewhere between yellow and howdy. If you call a Texas Drunk you should be prepared for a “Yeowdy”.
I usually get people with: “Anons Morgue: you kill ‘em, we chill ‘em.”
In my family it was variations of “Hello, Joe’s whatever. Insert rhyme here.”
One of my favorites was “Joe’s mortuary, you stab 'em we slab 'em.”
My dad’s go to is “Joe’s Bar and Grill, this is Grill speaking”. Sometimes he’ll shake it up and answer as Bar instead
“Jimbo’s Fish Fry; you hook 'em we cook 'em!”
Was always my favorite. Probably because I would love to take a restaurant a bucket of fresh-caught bluegill and come back in a couple hours to dinner. Filleting all those little bastards is a pain…
“Duffy’s Morgue, you stab em we slab em.”
I usually hit my friends with the “sup fuckface”
I throw a fucko out there into the world every now on then
I thought of the same. I assumed this anachronism was meant to imply he was incredibly old and around for the initial rollout of the telephone.
I love the fact that Burns answers the phone this way. Subtle jokes like this are the reason why The Simpsons is infinitely rewatchable.
Edison was a cunt.
Edison deserves hate for more than that
Moshi Moshi
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that’s why it’s used. Apparently it’s also just a casual way of saying “I’m ready to talk” and was used by early telephone operators in Japan. It’s most likely people just ended up copying the phrase from operators and aren’t worried about being tricked by foxes.
I like the explanation that devious spirits cannot say this phrase and that’s why it’s used
Evil spirits can not say the same word twice in a row. Foxes can not say “moshi”. With “moshi moshi” you get a 2-for-1 special.
Mosh moof
Fuck, I can’t do it, they’re right!
Better luck next time, nine-tails.
Japanese people answer their phone like that, everything is fine.
I answer my phone like that, I’m branded a weaboo for the rest of my life.
opens phone, “…moshi mo…” infinibonked for weebery
Fuck Edison.
Graham-bell isn’t better. He was super duper ableist and pressured Helen Keller to identify with her blindness instead of her deafness
Ahoy, guys.
Be the change you want to see in this world, don’t let Thomas Edison continue to shit on everything from his grave.
Fun fact - this is why Mr. Burns always answers the phone with “ahoy”
So apparently the new shit spam evil calls can record the most minimal sample of your voice and then spoof it to your friends and family…
It almost seems worth saying nothing until ‘they’ say something, but then, what if they are a spoofed caller…
Oh shit. Just don’t use phones any more.
If you don’t recognize the number, answer in a funny accent. That’s how you defeat the voice harvesters.
ring ring Sombrero repair, como es?
ring ring [deep voice] Investigations.
ring ring HJECKIN?
ring ring [high pitched voice] OOIIO BO IMA SO GLAD YE RANG DOLLINGA
ring ring thinkyefurcullinpapajhonzzewoodyalacktatryourpapalopadoussoosageasperigusdoughdopoloostoday?
ring ring [monkey noises]
ring ring OOOOOHHHHHHHH COME ON EILEEN, I BEG OF YA PLEASE
ring ring [raspy voice] Jerome?
ring ring [dictation voice, right up against microphone] THANK YOU FOR FALLING KMART. PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT YOU ARE CALLING ABOUT SO WE MAY DIRECT YOUR CALL
ring ring [moaning so intense it would make Sarah Grey blush]
ring ring WEAR MAH CHIL’ SUPPORT AT JEROME
ring ring [play Gilbert Garfield directly into microphone]
Then they just scam your friends family with you doing a funny voice.
Unless I am expecting a call, such as a delivery I just dont answer phone calls, if it’s important they will call again, if it’s less important they can message me like a normal human being.
I mostly don’t ever answer calls I don’t recognize, and even the ones I do I don’t often answer if I’m at work etc. I’ve only answered calls when it’s for something important being delivered, fixed, or scheduled (recent examples in same order: TV, Internet, renting a place(less recent, but all I could think of)).
Let’s compromise!
Alloy.
Or what we can agree on: HO. Omg Santa was right all along.
Great, now I’m fighting metal dinosaurs.
slow heavy breathing
open mouth chewing on potato chips “Yeah?”
“TIMMY, put those down!”
[child shrieking in the background]
When I see a post like this, I see a new friend.
Fuck Edison you idea stealing cuck.
I heard he electrocuted an elephant.
Yeah because he wanted to make Teslas ac electricity look evil, but just made everyone there hate him.
Imagine Edison trying to patent the “hello” greeting to get royalties every time someone answered the phone.
Then the incel fanbois defending Edison, insisting he invented the term 'hello".At this point I think there are more incel fanbois overhyping Tesla, still believing he really did have perpetual energy death rays invented by Ancient Egyptian aliens
Dude was brilliant, but he was also very, very crazy… and a name that comes up a lot when I’m on the “Spirit Science and Ancient Aliens are perfectly valid methods of self-education in comparison.” side of Youtube
Not that I’m defending Edison mind you, every cent he ever gained was earned by Tesla.
Edison was apparently quite successful, to the point where some languages other than English have a word that sounds like “hello” (for example, Russian “allo”) which is used only when answering the phone.
That makes sense cause in Brazil we say “alô” when answering the phone, a word that only seems to exist for this single purpose.
French as well I think
Yeah there’s a whole TV show about that from the 80s.
In Finnish we also say “haloo”
