Maybe that was a bad example. Thanks, that is reassuring. However, I feel like I get better and flipping the switch and doing smalltalk / pretending to be social, but worse at actually being social. I fear I’ll end up as a cranky old man yelling at the kids, and I’m not even 30.
Oh, and for the maga idiots, so much yes. I’m lucky that most people at the local range are chill, but some… I am here to relax and kill some innocent cardboard pieces, not listen to you trying to convince me how the woke has ruined the country.
I do a bunch of stuff, that’s not the problem. But, for example, last time I went hiking with a group of strangers, I just had a bad time. I didn’t talk much, I didn’t enjoy the talk, I wished I was either alone or with the (rare) friend. And I cannot really blame the people around, they were as welcoming to me as they were to anyone else.
What pisses me off most is that I wasn’t always that way. I met one of my closest friends at a hike, we just hit off. Maybe it’s a numbers game.
Sorry, I should have worded that differently. That is precisely what I don’t want, of course.
My issue is, I don’t want to have a “linkedin” relationship with people I meet at, say, a sport I do. But I seem to be very picky about who I enjoy talking to. That sucks. I don’t want to be like that. I’m cool with not being super close with everyone, but it would be nice to talk to more than two people without thinking.
Great point at the end. Yeah, maybe I need to practice being charismatic towards people more. The weird thing is, it works perfectly with random strangers I don’t give a shit about. I guess I need to accept that things don’t come naturally until they do.
That is a cool story. Sadly, 14-year old me was an idiot, and being in my politically edgy phase didn’t really help. Meh, live and learn. But that sounds like a very impressive friendship. I know lots of married couples that would wish for such a connection.
It is a cool concept. Nice way to think about it. Although, I would say some cultures just have more distance, even between close friends.
That’s good advice. It’s a numbers game. You invite ten people, and you’re lucky if three show up. But better than nothing.
Thanks, yeah, that sounds similar. Good for you to have the patience, a different continent (I’m assuming with a language barrier?) must be doing social life on hard mode
I have a bunch. Maybe I should have mentioned that. I do martial arts and a bunch of random sports, I do some nonprofit stuff, I have a bunch of pretty social tech hobbies. I went on a holiday with some people I barely know, and some people I mostly know. I couldn’t fit more in my schedule without impacting work and so on.
It’s more that the people I meet there extremely rarely make the jump from someone you greet while walking past to someone you look forward to talk to.
🫂