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Joined 1 month ago
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Cake day: February 3rd, 2025

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  • Honestly, a lot of the time ADHD can manifest as depression and anxiety and doctors are way more likely to diagnose you with those because it’s more obvious. All they have to go on is how you tell them you’re feeling and specialists are in short supply. You can’t really “feel” executive dysfunction or persistent task avoidance.

    I understand (and probably she does too) that TikToks obviously can’t diagnose a person, but neither can you and even doctors make mistakes out of ignorance. You should apologize and just listen instead of trying to help her figure things out. Women already get under-diagnosed and told they’re imagining things and “not to worry,” so just be a friend.








  • Exactly. I’ve been with my wife for nearly 9 years in a partnership where we both try to leverage our strengths, and we have a similar setup, so I wanted to go to bat for the both of us, so to speak.

    I’m sick and tired of people assuming I don’t carry my weight just because I need reminders about certain things and help with appointments. Let’s be real and admit that ADHD is a disability that prevents you from doing (some) stuff.

    I don’t just “let her clean up after me” and neither do you, it’s annoying to me that you specifically didn’t mention cleaning and they got on their high horse anyway.



  • Yeah, I think the military is the only environment where your entire schedule is planned for you.

    If OP can’t hire a personal assistant then this is the only option if they want 24/7 scheduling managed by another person or group.

    Unless you want to join a farming co-op, OP? Requires money and effort on your part but no risk of being deployed overseas. Less rigid scheduling but lots of stuff to do that will dominate your time.





  • I read a ton as a kid too (probably averaged 3-5 books a week for many years), as an adult it’s hard to escape the cycle of wanting to feel productive but I’ve since tried my best to remember that reading for pleasure isn’t meant to be productive in the capitalist sense. It’s an investment in your own happiness, in my opinion, and that can be productive in other ways. Trying new genres or quick “summer reads” has helped me not get bored.

    I mostly just don’t read much because I have other hobbies I like more and tend to watch a lot of video content and browse social media. I didn’t really do any of those things much as a teen, other than a bit of Facebook because everyone had it. For me it’s not the priority that it used to be, but I have a book server for easy access when I get the urge.


  • For me, I haven’t bought a new graphics card in a long time. I have a RX 580 that I bought used for $200 CAD. My next upgrade will be my motherboard since I’m still using a 1150 socket and I’m stuck using DDR3 RAM and an outdated CPU (Intel i5-4460).

    I can still play newish games at low settings and that’s fine for me right now. I’m not buying a GPU at current retail price, fuck that. It’s crazy that the best time to build a PC was 2015.




  • “I want to know how much I have to work” gives off vibes that you generally put in the minimum effort and want to know if you will actually have to try tomorrow.

    This appears not to be correct, but that’s just how people see that particular phrase. It offended her that your question appeared to imply that the level of workload affects your willingness to work in that unit. To mitigate what she perceived as your reluctance to do hard work, she called your manager to make sure that she didn’t have to work with you.

    Consider the reason behind your question. Would an accurate answer have actually affected your day? Most people don’t have the luxury of knowing what tomorrow will look like. I understand the desire to be prepared and to know what will be thrown at you beforehand, since I’m neurodivergent too, but often these questions are for our own comfort and an answer is not actually necessary.


  • I guess? You could instead link the post, that doesn’t ping anyone and offers contextual information to other commenters since it was directly asked. If OP wanted to keep it private so that no one would know, they probably wouldn’t have posted it on the public internet.

    But it’s kind of quaint/endearing that you wanted to protect their “privacy,” though. Not a bad attitude at all, it’s just not common practice since people don’t tend to accidentally make posts about things they want to keep secret.