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His quotes read like a South Park caricature and not at all like something a real living human being could have actually said with their mouths.

He is more accomplished than many of the armchair quarterbacks in this thread.

OP is being sensationalist. The article plainly states that they don’t know how he got it. That does not imply human to human transmission in any way.

It obviously came from a Mexican wet market.

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What about Red Lobster?

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Fuck excessively slow or fast songs. All my homies listen to music with a rhythm of 80-116 beats per minute.