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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 25th, 2023

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  • Change isn’t necessarily impossible, but it’s really difficult and requires a huge amount of self discipline - if someone changes, they will be a standout exception rather then the norm. I urge you to consider that someone who ghosts you likely does not value you enough to be willing or able to put in the effort to change. Ghosting is deeply rude to do to anyone, and especially toward your significant other.

    Take my interpretation with a mountain of salt, because I don’t know the full story. But, from what you said, it seems more likely that he reached out to you because you were a convenient backup


  • It’s as I said - just because someone (or some species) doesn’t recognize this pattern, doesn’t mean the pattern doesn’t exist.

    If some other alien race found a new system of physics that we were unaware of, that does not necessarily invalidate our laws of physics, just as ours would not invalidate theirs. Say, for example, in their system of physics, some arbitrary measurement that we’ll call “azupo” is equivalent to another measurement that we’ll call “bamu”, and this equation is called the “conservation of qugok”, that does not mean that qugok does not exist.

    Clearly this equation is true (and therefore qugok is a real concept), otherwise the aliens wouldn’t be able to fly across the galaxy to meet with us humans. Is qugok an innate property of the universe? Most probably not, but we never claimed that qugok (or energy, for that matter) is innate. All this means is just that we never noticed the qugok pattern, and therefore we never gave a name to it. But the qugok pattern is and has always been real.

    To put to bluntly: saying that something is manmade or arbitrary is not the same as saying that it doesn’t exist. We arbitrarily define the color red, but I hope you won’t argue that the color red doesn’t exist. (Even an alien who can’t see the color red would at least acknowledge that photons can have different wavelengths and that “human red” simply refers to that silly wavelength of light)


  • Energy is not really manmade. It’s not a physical object, but that doesn’t mean that we invented it. It’s a pattern of behavior that we gave a name to. Whether we notice the pattern or not, the pattern is still there.

    It’s the same as gravity - it’s not a physical object, it’s a pattern that describes how massive objects interact. But you wouldn’t argue that gravity doesn’t exist, would you?



  • Your body is made of proteins. In the broadest sense, there are structural proteins and proteins that make important things. Some of the proteins that make things (called enzymes) require additional special molecules in order to function properly. These special molecules are called vitamins. Our bodies can make several vitamins but can’t make several other ones. The ones we can’t make has to be eaten, otherwise the enzyme won’t be able to function properly, and depending on what the enzyme does, you’ll either get sick or die or both. Vitamin C has to be eaten. Vitamin D, our bodies can produce. But the process to make it requires sunlight in order to function.

    TL;DR: our bodies have evolved to force you to touch grass


  • Pretty sure lunar effect is a real, scientifically confirmed thing, just known by a different name. Perhaps not the full moon specifically, but we do oscillate according to the moon phase. It’s called circalunar cycles. The name might sound familiar to circadian cycles because they both derive from the same word structure, ie circa-dia (“around a day”) and circa-lunar (“around a month”)

    At minimum, I’m quite surprised that Wikipedia lists this as a pseudoscience, because my impression has generally been that circadian researchers acknowledge circalunar cycles as a given






    1. Not really, no. Love and attraction are different things. You don’t need to be attracted to someone you love.

    2. Unless you find your partner unattractive, I don’t see how sex could meaningfully change

    3. People are good at picking up social cues. That’s probably what you’re referring to. Humans are social creatures, after all. Also, people are trash at picking up social cues, so you’re probably also missing a lot of cues.

    4. That sounds like a really bad idea. Your sense of how common those relationships issues occur is warped. People don’t generally go into relationships trying to exploit someone. You’re going to cause issues (moral, logistical, and practical) with your plan, all because of a concern that’s not likely to happen.

    5. That’s the vast majority of humans. We are a monogamous species, after all. When you see “alpha males” on the internet, just be aware that they’re grifters that want your money. And the best way to make sure you keep giving them money is to make sure that you stay single and unhappy.

    6. Can’t help you there. I can at least tell you that enacting your plan in question 4 is going to lower your chances of finding a wife to 0.


  • The other comments cover things pretty well, but I feel like I should also pitch in as well. I’m in my mid-20’s in a stable relationship of over 3 years (at least a part of which was long distance), so I could probably offer some more age-specific advice.

    I find that a lot of younger people (ie, people at or below my age) put a lot of undue emphasis on social media. Liking a post, not liking a post, follow, not follow, whatever. These are all contrivances. They are a game designed by social media companies to keep people doomscrolling on their platform. It’s important to see and really understand that it genuinely does not matter what someone does on social media. Your boyfriend seems not to have interacted with the Instagram model after he got with you. So that’s good right? If that’s what’s really important to you, then why does it matter if he still follows her?

    And even if we assume that he was still actively interacting with the model, that’s still fine. It’s important to know that there is a difference between attraction and love. Love is the very specific feeling of caring about the other person and wanting the best for them. Many younger people think that attraction and love are the same, and so a lot of drama gets started because neither side realizes that they’re mixing up their ideas of what a relationship should be like. One common issue to be aware of (and most relevant to this situation) is that being attracted to someone else is not love, and it’s not cheating. It is ok to find other people attractive, and likewise, you should not find it offensive if your boyfriend finds someone else attractive.

    I will also caution that many younger couples have this expectation that their partners should allow them to go through the other person’s phones. This is extremely toxic. Don’t do that. People have a right to their own private life, even when they are in a relationship. This applies to social media as well. You shouldn’t be looking through your boyfriend’s Instagram just because you want to see if he’s following anyone that you don’t like. Remember that a relationship is built on trust, and that means that you need to trust your boyfriend to be loyal.

    You might be thinking that if you shouldn’t look through people’s phones, then it’s really easy for your boyfriend to cheat for a long time without you knowing. And that’s true. That’s why cheating hurts so much. But that possibility doesn’t give you the permission to intrude on their privacy. Have faith in your boyfriend.

    Finally, practice open communication and mindfulness. I find that it can be quite difficult to identify what exactly is bothering you, and talking to your boyfriend about a vague sense of jealousy isn’t going to be productive at all. In fact, it’s probably going to get him defensive. When you’re angry, disappointed, upset, jealous, etc., it’s important to take some time to think things through yourself first. These negative feelings tend to result from the feeling that one of your personal rights was violated. If you’re angry or upset, which specific action caused it? Which of your personal rights was violated by that action? It is really important to identify this, since the difference between toxic behavior and valid anger is oftentimes just based on how valid the answers are to those questions. For instance, the “right to your boyfriend’s attention” is not a real right that you have, and so if you were to get angry that your boyfriend isn’t giving you enough attention, that would, in fact, be toxic behavior. And if you do have a right to be angry, then knowing which of your rights was violated makes it easy to prove your point, so there’s no downsides to this approach.


  • You should be aware that there are many reasons why a guy cannot get hard. Being dehydrated, for instance, makes it really difficult to stay erect. Many guys can get pretty insecure about it, so his reaction sounds about right.

    I would recommend that you not blame him for not getting hard. It just happens sometimes and that’s just something that you two will have to work around


  • In the past, he was a gaming streamer. During many of his streams, his actions and words strongly suggested that he was racist and/or a Nazi. At least once, he was called out for using the n-word (with the hard r). He has never expressed any remorse.

    Because of that, many people consider him to be the gateway of the alt-right pipeline. Essentially, children are attracted to his channel for the gaming content, and over time, they are influenced by his behavior to be increasingly accepting of racist and/or alt-right content (after which the YouTube algorithm will then feed them increasingly extremist content)

    Since at least several years ago, he retired from his channel, started a family, and moved to Japan (not necessarily in that order). It’s entirely unclear if he’s changed his mind about any of his previous behaviors, and in the absence of any indicators of change, many people take the stance that he probably still is a racist/Nazi