See, I’m no tankie, I’m a radical anarcho communist according to this chart
Link if you want to try it yourself: https://www.politicalcompass.org/test
Picturing
doing the test and finding out that he’s an anarchistIf you aren’t hitler or mussolini you literally can’t get to auth-left. This shitty test is essentially a “are you an asshole?” test and if you answer “no” you will be hailed as the one true anarchist. So yes. Xi would be considered an anarchist by the political cumpiss.
yeah this. the entire questionaire is built in a way that makes it impossible to be auth-left unless you’re some kind of nazbol or strasserite. none of the questionaire items deal with positions that would actually be “authoritarian” positions of a Marxist-Leninist, such as “freedom of the press and freedom of assembly sometimes have to take a backseat to fighting off counter-revolutionaries” or “a vanguard party sometimes needs to do purges to weed out corruption, incompetence and careerism”. Instead, you are an authoritarian leftist if you hate abstract art and gay people and beat your children. Like, that’s literally what you need to answer to score as a Maoist. If you espouse social policies of the USSR, such as being pro-abortion, being anti-racist and getting women out of the kitchen and into the universities, this test counts you as less of a Marxist-Leninist.
It’s pure horseshoe theory at work, it tries to measure how fascist you are and how communist you are by the same questions, and the result is that actual communists cannot score as communists. Go figure.
Yeah it really raises questions about those 16 year olds on /r/politicalcompassmemes who have the red flair
r/pcm users by flair:
blue: nazis
red: nazis who want free healthcare
green: nazis who like to smoke weed
purple / yellow: nazis with more than 1TB of CSAM on their harddrive
The one good thing that the test does is highlight how thin the pretense that (American and American-inspired) conservatives have of wanting “personal freedom and small government” is.
Even in countries where sexism, homophobia, and abusive parenting are (unfortunately) still common amongst the left, many people would still end up in the libertarian half just by supporting racial equality, international unity, and abortion. Like, I tried doing the test except with my answers changed to support homophobia, anti-drug/porn laws, and hitting children and still ended up (barely) in the libertarian half.
And yet, despite the test being made by right-libertarians to promote their ideology, the vast majority of Americans who take it fall on the bottom-left to top-right spectrum, with only a handful in the bottom right quadrant.
Edit: They also do election analysis where they put candidates on the chart (basically just based on vibes) and it still follows a bottom-left to top-right spectrum. Interestingly enough, they do label the vast majority of candidates in the 2020 US elections as right-wing authoritarians, despite the fact that their test labels anyone to the left of Mike Bloomberg as a left-libertarian.
spoiler
You’re all a bunch of libs, if you won’t provide the vanguard, I will!!!
Seriously though, I had to respond with some fucked up ideals to get it to register like this. This test is beyond trash and they want donations at the end lol! The ultimate lib grift.
I tried to go as “authoritarian” as possible by its standards and I only got this
Yeah, I had to say shit like gay=bad as though that’s some kind of measure. Pretty sure you have to type in the n-word and choose to kill all homeless people to get to the top of the chart.
Polcomp literally isn’t capable of placing MLs in the top left. I have never seen an ML get top left as their result.
It’s so far off base that a Marxist-Leninist state could reasonably use it as a quick litmus test to determine who needs reeducation and who doesn’t. Scoring far from the green zone in any direction implies a hardcore reactionary who likes to do eugenics and drown puppies.
I wish I could time travel back in time to have Stalin take this test just to bring the results back and rub it in liberal’s noses when he too is in the green zone.
Someone help how do I score this?
Waluigi on the Wiggler kart with roller wheels.
Waluigi Wiggler meta has long been discredited. Yoshi Teddy is the way forward now
You know what really annoys me about political tests like this? They pretty much never distinguish ideals and tactics. In fact, to any sane materialist, answers to the same questions would change wildly between “what i would want my bourgeois government to implement”, “what we need to do after the revolution” and “ideal society to strive for”.
Political compass tests are dumb but heres mine:
I’m literally being called a genocidal tankie in another post as we speak for wanting a peaceful end to the Ukraine war lmao
Seeing all these answers I can’t help but think the test is rigged to send people towards something like Chomsky’s ‘libertarian socialism’. It’s more useful to confuse people than to have them realise that they would (critically) support e.g. the USSR if they were permitted to make their own mind up. “Oh you have decent politics then you’re in this box here and whatever you do, don’t look up!”
Not quite. The political compass was designed by right-libertarians to trick people to trick people into thinking it was an actual ideology.
The test isn’t rigged, leftists just generally describe their end goal, which is lib left in most cases.
It is definitely rigged, it’s absolutely stupid. Okay guess what the difference between an anarchist and a marxist-leninist is?
That’s right, an ML is an anarchist who hates gay people.
You heard that right. That is actually how flagrantly bad that test is.
Because of the political compass everybody knows that “authoritarianism” is when racism and homophobia, and commies are “authoritarian” so they must be racist and homophobic.
Is it even possible to get to the red square
being anti war on drugs counts against your authoritarian score so does being against beating children
I think being pro-gay marriage counts against it as well? It’s really stupid.
It’s natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.
How is this a political question?
When you are troubled, it’s better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things.
Do the makers of this test know what politics is?
Astrology accurately explains many things.
The only relevant ideology that believes this is Reaganism.
Not seeing your children as people is some whack authoritarian shit
Time for “is school authoritarian?” struggle session 2.0
Foucault says school is bad. That’s it. That’s what his book says right here: “school is bad honhonhon”.
French people Bad ! its proven , so their opinions are as well …
We have to agree on whether bedtimes are authoritarian first
“I need to know when my child is supposed to sleep. Please harness the unperturbed ground-state hyperfine transition frequency of the caesium 133 atom. Please issue a new leap second.” - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged
Depends, are we talking capitalist schools or commie schools
That second one is “are you a vibes based liberal?”
Pretty cutting question tbh
The children havng secrets question strikes me as being a right-wing Christian question, as they are often controlling of children
The test was designed by some libertarian, so I think I have a good guess of what the libertarian meant by “secrets” that children should keep from their parents.
Do the makers of this test know what politics is?
I think that one is a valid prompt because many people do take that attitude and there are some major cults built around it
How is this a political question?
It is a test designed by Libertarians
https://leftvalues.github.io/ is much more fun
“adopts Marxist views on society and the economy while also refraining from taking a definitive position on revolution and reformism” (centrist marxist(?))
used to be orthodox marxist, i guess bolivia really did fuck me up. it’s not my fault that they managed to reverse a military coup without a revolution, that threw a wrench on my convictions, though i’m still 2/3 revolutionary in the graphic
Not a “revolution” perhaps, but there was a lot of violence in the streets and countrywide mass demonstrations. It’s all on the same spectrum IMO.
yea, but my idea was always that this type of transition can’t work because eventually the bourgeoisie picks up arms (or rather, they get their goons to do it through the army or paramilitaries) and if we don’t react accordingly we just get killed and lose, as we’ve seen countless times
so i wonder what made it work this time. maybe easier communications allow for faster mobilization so that we can organize strikes and road blockades really fast? was it because it’s now a bit (a lot??) harder to cover up a massacre and that discouraged the police and soldiers? was it dissent among the coup leaders? did covid make it harder for them to consolidate their power? was it all influenced by the fact that the crazy reactionary evangelicals were the ones to gain notoriety (remember that ridiculous añez photo with a gigantic bible lmao), and that screwed up the propaganda effort? maybe all of these together? which variables were more significant? this isn’t just out of intellectual curiosity, i’m actually interested to know if it can be replicated, especially here in the continent, because if it can, well, revolutionary wars are perfectly justifiable, but if the war part could be avoided it would be uhh… nice
hell yea
Yeah I guess
My scientific socialism score is 100%, this definitively confirms that I am the only user of this site who is not a liberal
Or the most liberal? Who knows anymore
deleted by creator
here are my scores: https://leftvalues.github.io/results.html?a=41.2&b=65.6&c=48.3&d=50.0&e=38.5&f=25.0&g=50.0 Although I am not a native speaker and probably dont have enough knowledge in politics…
firstly for any non-Hexbearians: fuck this. we were never ideologically shut in, we just accurately realised that theres no point having major sectarianism and screaming at eachother in our forum over minor differences at this stage, as it should be when we’ve all ruthlessly criticised the preconceived ideas of the societies most of us have grown up in. noone who stuck around was a halfwitted and properly ideologically shut in liberal or someone who was kidding themselves about being centrist. we didnt let these kind of people pretend they were right or had something valuable in their theoretical outlook on politics, because they/you really probably don’t. if you want to talk about some other specialisation you have or a unique outlook on other things, sure, maybe. politics? philosophical conception of how the world currently is and what the issues are and what might fix them? unless it’s some type of socialism, none of us give a single fuck
anyway thinking of anything in the line of “authoritarian” as a descriptor is accurate means you’ve already lost some communist cred. authoritarianism is made up. noone is truly free in any ideological manifestation of society. it’s simply different levels of coercion. and communism, with its ideals met, is the least coercive system of societal organisation. on the way there will always be practical issues as every AES state has found, with the USSR, NK, Cuba and China for example navigating a siege-like global terrain and implementing cultural change in different ways that have ALL lead so far to the people’s general livelihood improved from what it was before communism. that is absolutely undebatable. under capitialism each of these countries would have had near zero development and their people would still be generally impoverished rather than a steadily developing wellbeing slowly emerging under, again, siege-like global conditions
but anyway i call myself a communist that can see extreme value in Leninism, Maoism and any other theory written by communists in the actual struggle and this is what it gives me
https://www.politicalcompass.org/yourpoliticalcompass_js?ec=-9.63&soc=-8.05
we just accurately realised that theres no point having major sectarianism and screaming at eachother in our forum over minor differences at this stage
ahem
“Outdoor cats”.
shouldve said minor ideological differences :P
No outdoor cats here
I think it’s broken
This other test is calling me an eco-marxist while policomp is calling me a left libertarian.
Both are dumb though because there’s more nuance to some of these questions than they let you have.
Yeah, it puts every ML in the libleft corner because the tests dumb
i’m always baffled by these because they show how these morons really do think socialist states were/are horrible authoritarian hellscapes
I think it’s a problem with the underlying assumptions of the political compass. MLs don’t really believe in authority for authority’s sake the way that conservatives do (at least I hope y’all don’t), we believe that a disciplined party structure is necessary to enact the changes we want to see and that a state is needed to wage class war on the bourgeoisie.
Ancaps also don’t really map properly onto the compass, because while they profess to believe in individual liberation the worldview they subscribe to and the policies they support are every bit as hierarchical as the most staunch religious conservative. The main difference is that the ancap religion is a capitalist free market, rather than an ancient text or church structure.
I love this chart because you have to basically be some kind of pathological edgelord to get any result outside of green. American political science programs are beyond worthless lmao, at least business majors have to learn multiplication.
