my ex-boyfriend sam (19m) of a few years has been my longest relationship (as i’m still young). he ghosted me and i started to lose feelings for him. however, i still had hope.

he also “forgot” about me when he would give gifts to other people, wouldn’t mention me under “people he appreciates” but would mention everyone else, and wouldn’t even tell people abt me.

due to all this, i started to question actually being a lesbian who was only into guys because of comphet.

however, last night, when he finally saw my messages (he doesn’t use social media a lot), he apologized and said he should’ve done something other than ghost his gf. he agreed that we should break up, and said he was being this way due to mental health problems, and that if we got back together, he’d be a better bf.

he explained he still had feelings for me and would love to still be friends.

that’s when i realized that i had genuine feelings for him that were still there, not just comphet. i always loved him and felt sad when it seemed he didn’t love me the same way.

i understand he’s not ready for a relationship rn, and i think he should take his time. i also am not quite ready due to this being so recent and the fact that we haven’t done actual couple stuff in a while.

but after a while, when he gets better, hopefully we’ll still have feelings and both be good partners (better than we were then). after all, even if the not including me thing isn’t an excuse, the ghosting was due to poor mental health which he can’t control.

so i guess i’d also be biromantic with a preference for women.

i hope we can make this work >w<

  • Em Adespoton@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Very much this. I’ve been happily married for 25 years and expect to be for at least 25 more, and the things that annoyed us about each other when we were dating still annoy us today. But we accept that those things are unlikely to change, and celebrate the stuff that’s great.

    On top of that, guys don’t tend to mature until they’re 21-25, but don’t start dating one who’s younger expecting him to change for the better; it’s more likely the common things you enjoy will change but the odd habits will remain forever.