Not a day goes by without a blow administered by Donald Trump to the terrible Wokist-Sorororist octopus! The White House leader today signed the decree officially switching the United States to the Cyrillic alphabet, ending the dark age of Latin script on America’s sunny Gulf coasts.
“You know who uses Latin letters? Mexicans and Colombians, who bring us drugs. Why use a crackhead alphabet when there’s a great one, absolutely wow, invented by two monks. The monks aren’t druggies, they’re not Mexicans, they don’t eat dogs. That’s it. From now on, anyone who writes in Latin eats cats. Canadians. You’re effectively the last Canadians,” Trump said, alluding to his earlier war against Mexicans who eat dogs and cats after marinating them overnight in a drug-laced, super-proven and verified drug bath.
Russian President Vladimir Putin welcomed Trump’s upright gesture and sent him a gift of a set of colored pencils produced at the famous “Pobeda” stationery factory in Pasholnahuisk.
This is satire, right? I literally can‘t tell
Оф корс ит из сэтайрь. Ай’м виллинг ту бет мост Американс вуд шит брикс иф дей хед ту лёрн а секнд алфабет.
(Approximate transliteration of: “Of course it is satire. I’m willing to bet most Americans would shit bricks if they had to learn a second alphabet.”)
They already shit bricks when you tell them kids are learning Arabic numbers in school!
Most Americans have a very tenuous grasp on their first alphabet.
It’s funny because 20 years ago, I remember all the Republicans in my rural town in Oklahoma saying that it wouldn’t be long before we’d all need to learn Chinese because we’re in sooooooo much debt to China that we’d be speaking the language.
They were also royally pissed about Obama bowing to the Saudi prince, but they sure don’t seem to mind it when Trump does everything short of sucking Putin off.