It’s nice for him to be inclusive of 18! year olds. Dating can be difficult for ladies in their mid-quadrillions.
Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl
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Just realized you couldn’t copy/paste for the prompt and had to type that out…
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I recommend one of these options:
Mind Blank attempts to hide the mind from attack, making its parts unidentifiable.
Thought Shield cloaks the mind so as to hide first one part, then another. This defense can be kept up at all times, unlike the others.
Mental Barrier is a carefully built thought repetition wall which exposes only that small area.
Intellect Fortress is a defense which calls forth the powers of the ego and super-ego to stop attacks.
Tower of Iron Will relies only upon the super-ego to build an unassailable haven for the brain.
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I know only the empirical clarity of Imperial Truth.
A man’s soul needs to be a fortress.
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And print the scrolling text on a shirt like a gif.
How were they able to catch a picture of him before he got swarmed by 17 and 18 year old blondes.
He probably not in Illinois, so that cuts a lot out.
Imagine being the guy at the novelty T-Shirt company, who takes requests.
And then THIS order comes in…
They probably make these in bulk.
…I honestly don’t know if that’s better or worse.
That must be a day for thought, like what is going in in that man’s head?
The man has a type, and that type is either 17 or 6402373705728000 years old.
Imagine a world where people just wear their dating profile on the back and then someone who fancy them says “I’m down for that, where’s your consent form?”.
Incredibly based world, if it were so easy
Sounds like bureaucracy that has gone a bit too far, lol
I bet the Vogons would like it though.
Sounds like what does down at the federal sex bureau.
Reminded me of this sketch from A Bit of Fry and Laurie: https://youtu.be/DxFU_fIUawM
This reads like a EULA
More like a warning
Lawful evil
I want to be believe he lost a bet or dare. If not, I think this person would have more luck forgetting about dating and going super niche into a competitive hobby. Getting into a competitive hobby isn’t about getting laid, but about focusing your frustrations into something goal oriented and controllable. You cannot make someone like you, but you can become the god of your hobby kingdom. Maybe along the way they’ll learn social skills and graces which might help with getting laid.
Sometimes I think there should be a dating app specifically for awkward and less conventionally attractive people.
My bet is he lost a bet, it’s so specific especially at the end
The longer you read it, the more bizzarely specific and funnier it gets
the more [bizarrely] specific and funnier
Maybe that’s the joke? Are we all just not getting the humour? I watched The Office and kinda felt the same as I do now; maybe it’s more ‘cringe’ humour?
That is indeed the joke
I wish I could read the whole thing.
I wish I could set him up on a blind date with a few people
Do those people have badges?
4chan irl
OG Craigslist M4W
Seeing this in the wild my first thought would be that he lost some kind of bet or has been challenged into wearing this in a crowded place.
You have good first thoughts!
Putting your physical description on your shirt 💀
c/libertarianshirts
Women if you want me you have to be hot and have big titties. I’m a youtuber so I obviously don’t care about age. Just don’t snitch or tell the police. I’m too pretty to go to prison and I also don’t wanna get beat into submission or get killed while i’m there. Also don’t bring bear spray on our first date or a gun. Please come unarmed. Trust me I won’t hurt you. The last three violent crimes I committed were well deserved and I won’t do it again. Bring a ballgag thank you have a good day. I want a cupcake goodbye. 🥰🧁
Based <3
