Probably 500+ bottles of expensive wine, more possibly even. Some of it was free, but most not, and it’s all crammed into a 2 bedroom apartment turning to vinegar because it’s improperly stored. Sometimes life circumstances mean you can’t drink much anymore. So it’s pretty much a waste and hugely embarrassing.
Never tie your finances to that of a crazy liar.
Never tie your finances to that of a crazy liar.
I’m invested and would like to read the rest of the story…
In a nutshell I married a person who has destroyed me financially a few times over, and I cannot leave because I don’t have the money. He’s sort of like a narcissist (like in that vein, not fully but definitely very mentally disturbed), and he decided to get into wine and buy massive quantities simply to make me angry and ruin my life out of spite, after he destroyed my mental health. We had storage space for it at the previous house but got evicted by a landlord who took it back for his family member, and now I live crammed into a two bedroom apartment with 78 boxes of wine that I seldom if ever drink. He ensures he gets everything he wants in life, even when I was down to owning 3 pairs of pants.
It’s incredibly sad and depressing and I can do virtually nothing about it but drag myself between both jobs, spending zero dollars save for my survey money, while he sits on the couch watching hockey 3 hours a night. I have no support and no way out but praying I somehow find time and a plan to make my own business and make enough money to dig out and find somewhere to hide from him.
If you have a red flag in a relationship, run. Not worth it.
I’m so sorry. Can you not sell some of the wine? Would he notice if it was a smaller collection? Just a reminder that financial abuse is abuse, control is abuse, there are shelters for people who are being abused which will get you out of that environment.
He notices if I so much as eat a bowl of cereal he thinks is his alone. Or forget to bring home the knife I took to work to eat lunch with. Or anything. You’ve never met someone so territorial. Once I left my bottle of work hand lotion on the kitchen table after a 16 hour shift and he threw it up the stairs and it burst everywhere, and when I had a screaming fit told me it was my fault for being inconsiderate.
Not kidding. And I can’t leave because I’d never let my dogs get hurt and they sure don’t let you take them to shelters. He’d haunt me to the ends of the earth anyway.
This is abuse, leave. Take the dogs for a walk, go to a friend’s house and call a lawyer or the cops or a womens’ agency. Yes everything will be shit for awhile, get a restraining order and file for legal relief from the debt, you may even be able to sue him for relief of the debt, and if he used your credit without your ok, that is fraud and also illegal.
I know you feel you don’t have the mental strength to leave but if you can survive staying, you definitely do have the strength.
My gf had been in sort of a similar situation. You need to get out. At all costs. Even if you have to leave the dogs.
He will just do whatever he needs to do to keep you desperate and on his leash. So no matter what you do, he won’t met you save money, he won’t give you a chance to get away ever.
The controlling behavior servers to keep you there at his disposal.
He is not going to change. You will have too. So get of your ass and leave. It’s the only chance you have for a real life again. If you don’t, you basically submit and accept that this will be your life forever.
I know that things may seem hopeless, but the situation you are in is affecting the way you think. You can get away, you can have a normal life but you have to decide that it is over and commit to getting away.
I literally have no money and mountains of debt thanks to him. Rent in my city is 2K which I absolutely cannot afford by myself. I don’t know what you think makes me able to do any of this, I really cannot.
i believe you can do this if you choose and when you’re ready. i won’t lie - it’s not easy, but you may decide if is easier than staying. the dv hotline can direct you to local services, including housing. be careful if you begin to explore your options; he may escalate.
(800) 799-7233. if you can safely search, they also have text and chat contact online.
Well, it’s only going to get worse. Go to a shelter. There are resources to help with debt, sometimes government programs.
If you stay you’re just digging the hole deeper. Every day you stay you are making it harder for yourself to leave. I know it is difficult.
You’re in a very very shitty situation. But out of all the choices you have available to you, staying is worst one you could possibly pick.
Do you have any friends or family that you can ask for help?
In the end it is your choice to stay or go. But make sure it is an actual choice and not just submitting because you don’t see a way out.
If you go to a shelter or the cops they might be able to at least explain to you what options you have. Perhaps there are numbers you could call for domestic abuse victims?
It is very important that you take action or things will only get worse. And I cannot imagine you want to struggle the rest of your life while he keeps draining you of all your money.
Some of that can sell at auction, I work on a house where the lady inherited about $300,000 of wine.
I would be hanging from a lamppost somewhere if I tried it.
I got a pretty nice Yamaha bluray player that was an appropriate match to my home theatre amp.
Put a bluray in it, got a piracy warning, a few unskippable ads for other movies, an obnoxious excessively drawn out animated menu screen that stuttered like hell and was laggy to use.
Pulled the bluray back out of it, stuck it back in the DVD drawer and proceeded to download a copy of the movie to watch. Been doing that ever since.
Wanted to re-watched something I couldn’t find on torrents in good quality, so I bought a cheap Blu-ray player and holy shit it was painful.
I’d forgotten how annoying all the warnings and menus were; JUST PLAY THE BLOODY SHOW!
As great as just playing the show is, I actually really like DVD/Blu-ray menus because of the little extras you get on some of them. It makes the disk feel more special compared to straight up video files on a storage device. The warnings can be a little annoying, but otherwise I don’t mind as much.
Also, I’m lucky enough to have yet to find a DVD/Blu-ray that stutters or has audio glitches on the Vizio Blu-ray player I got at a thrift store, so I’m lucky.
I haven’t watched the extra content in years, just don’t care, Matrix was probably the last time I watched that stuff.
The deleted scenes and commentary audio tracks were cool, but idk if I’d actually watch any of it now. I heard years ago that there’s a whole system for “MST3King” a movie manually with community commentary tracks that effectively do the same thing and I’ve never cared enough to figure out how to set it up and try one, so I don’t know if I’d ever actually watch a DVD commentary even if I had the option.
Maybe it would be cool for Taskmaster, since I’ve seen every episode so many times and continue to rewatch it? But I rarely re-watch anything anymore. And I don’t think TV shows got commentary tracks anyway.
And deleted scenes could probably just be found on YouTube, I assume? I don’t know because I haven’t cared enough to search, lol.
Sell it, dude
That’s why I only buy collector’s edition blurays. At least it has the extra stuff that’s worth the money.
Speaking on my wife’s behalf, an epipen. We’re both content with not having needed to use it.
I have a college degree I have never used. It wasn’t cheap even tho much of it was paid with grants.
Art?
Nah, gotta be music/sound related
Bachelor of Science! Recreation related.
First edition, first run of the three Lord of the Rings books.
I can’t bring myself to open them up and mess with the pages.
The duality of book owning.
I mean, yeah. The point of collectibles like that is in owning the thing, not using the thing. Read the ebook instead.
Or the BBC radio play, which is the best version of LotR ever, including the original books and films, and I’ll die on that hill.
But you bought a reading copy as well, right?
Right?
I have one, but it’s not the same as the original.
I have posted pictures of the books for people who want to see the original maps included in the books.
My Les Paul. I go in fits and spurts with learning to play the guitar, and haven’t gotten around to figuring out the effects of all combinations of the volume & control knobs.
Why buy a Les Paul of all things if you’re still learning?
It was on sale, and prior to that I had a shitty acoustic which was zero fun to play, so I wanted something nicer that would last me a long time.
Just play it, my dude. I bought a fancy PRS because it fit my hands right, and it had a ding on the neck so the guy didn’t want it.
I straight up suck at guitar and can only play shitty 90’s alt and some pentatonic stuff, but it’s still fun.
If you want to get better at just making stuff up on the guitar, learn the pentatonic scale, pick four to six notes, and just jam with those notes. I like (2) 4-6, (3) 4-6, and (4) 4-6. You can bounce around between those and sound pretty cool.
I would 100% recommend taking lessons. I waited 25 years to start lessons and wish I’d done it much sooner. It’s amazing how much you can improve in 6 months. And even professional touring musicians in really big bands still take lessons. It’s only theoretically possible to self teach yourself, but practically very hard, especially if you have no musical background. If nothing else it gives you a motivation to practice whatever you’ve been set the previous 1 or 2 weeks.
I agree, but I’m retired, so to save money I’m learning via Justin Guitar, which is actually pretty awesome :)
A pair of traditional leather boots that were stiff and sturdy enough to support me through anything and last long enough to be buy it for life. The pair weighed over 5 pounds. After 6 months they still hurt after a hike and I gave up breaking them in. Cost me over 300€, and I replaced them with a pair of 80€ trail running shoes which were better in every way for my use case and also lasted 12 years.
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I bought an $800 half stack guitar amplifier in 2009 and rarely play with the volume above 1, let alone play shows with it. But it looks neat.
My Switch. Just lost interest after playing a few games
Sell it and buy a steam deck. I’m over 40. The deck made me like gaming again. So many fun games and immediately being able to sleep the system while in a game and then waking it back up to be right where I left off is a huge benefit to me.
2020 Shelby Mustang GT350R. I paid $80k for it and then another $25k at Shelby American in Vegas for the signature edition package. Bought it new in 2020 and it now has about 1500 miles on it.
It was my dream car but I just never have the time to drive it.
My 6-foot-tall telescope. I should really pull it out more, I just get so busy.
A pool. It came with the house, but damn is it expensive to maintain. I say I’ve never gotten full use out of it because I spend way more time and energy maintaining it, than I do using it.
Rent it out for parties like Airbnb for pools and you can recoup the cost.
Our house used to have a hot tub and still has the concrete pad, electrical hookup, and other equipment necessary to run the hot tub. I have never been interested in maintaining it. Can’t even do naked hot tubbing because the neighbor’s house looks right over the hot tub pad.
Sounds like you need to invest in fixing it up. Big short term cost vs death by a thousand cuts
It’s not really that it needs to be fixed up. The chemicals and supplies are outrageously overpriced. Then there always seems to be some major issue every year or two. I’ve lived in the house for 7 years and have had to replace the control board and the pump. I had to replace $2,500 worth of piping after Texas cut my power for 3 days during freezing temperatures. Then last summer it was so hot the ground shifted and it broke two return lines that had to be repaired through the concrete deck. And I know by next year it will be due for resurfacing.
A Honda 2200 generator.
My house. There has never been a point in time where there was not at least one room unusable due to ongoing renovation.
Same. I bought a fixer upper and haven’t moved in yet due to the very messy renovations I’m doing slowly on evenings and weekends after my full-time job. I’m almost to the point I can move in though.
How do you keep having renovations? How do you even sustain that?
Bought a fixer-upper and my wife is a lot more aggressive about starting projects than she is about finishing them.
