We know all about the edgy ‘manosphere’ bullshit that teenage males basically get shoved down their throats these days and gladly suck up since they don’t see any alternatives, but what about women?

  • rootsbreadandmakka [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 year ago

    Yeah I actually did consider bringing up the gatekeep gaslight girlboss mentality in an edit to my comment, however I decided against it since I don’t think it can really be equated to the manosphere. It is absolutely toxic, but the manosphere represents a whole multitude of extremely socially regressive stances and attitudes, whereas girlboss mentality is mostly just capitalist ideology, and even can in some instances represent some socially progressive stances. And ultimately the girlboss is probably center right to center left (as you say), and I think is more likely to be cautiously radlib than embrace the weird esoteric fascism of the manosphere. I think you’re spot on with the causes.

    I don’t really understand your second toxic mentality point. Is this the same as the tradwife, the desire to be some 50s housewife with her husband as the breadmaker, or do you have in mind something else? I sort of understand what you’re saying, I just can’t really picture this person in my head as a “type.”

    edit: the other reason I didn’t bring up gatekeep gaslight girlboss is because it didn’t seem as prevalent to me. It absolutely is a common type, but to characterize it as the young women ideology seemed wrong. I know a lot of women who buy into it, or at least its sister, that sort of female-centered hustle culture, but I know just as many women who reject it and make fun of the girlboss. Whereas with the manosphere, I talk to my male friends and even being pretty basic liberals they’ll say shit that makes my ears perk up as I can hear the manosphere attitudes seeping into their thoughts. And there’s less explicit rejection of that stuff. So manosphere attitudes just seemed more prevalent among men, whereas there was nothing I could think of with a similar prevalence among women (although I am a man and have more contact with men so maybe I’m just not in the know). This wasn’t to dismiss any toxic attitudes among women, just that none of those attitudes seemed as prevalent nor did I feel they occupied the same extremely socially regressive space as the manosphere.

    • TreadOnMe [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      1 year ago

      I only disagree in so far as to the people participating in that culture it absolutely dominates their life and world view, and does represent a variety of cultural affiliations, and they all share the same trait of being too online. I have absolutely met hippy-chick girl bosses. For me, most of these attitudes are simultaneous and reactionary to each other, and both represent capitalist ideology, even if manosphere trends more regressionary.

      It’s hard to describe if you haven’t encountered it irl, but it is basically the lib version of the ‘trad-wife’ and usually I find it occurs in women who are ex-christians (at least in the ones who have bothered to talk about it). My assumption is that they want to be protected by a man and grew up with that being their interest, but they also want to ‘be free’, so the next best thing they can do is antagonize people at the bar so some man can step in and ‘protect them’. It’s a weird reoccurring thing and the only reason I know about it is because usually I am the one that they want to protect them even though I only met them an hour ago and I agree with the other party that they are being an asshole. The GGG attitude is far more prevalent, but I have run into this particular phenomena at least six or seven times, enough to recognize it almost on sight at this point. It absolutely stems from online ‘trad-wife’ rhetoric, just translated to the weird a-political bar culture.

      Edit: Just to be clear, Trad-wife is also toxic, but I rarely run into that at a bar.

      2nd Edit: And this is also besides the multitude of toxic behaviors that are shared between the genders at bars.

      3rd edit: I get what you are saying, but as a man who happens to spend most of his time talking to both genders in bars, trust me, it is there, even among people who reject it. You probably just don’t know the language to recognize it when it is occuring. Especially when I hear some of the advice that women give each other concerning men, much of it feels designed to cause more problems. But idk, my opinion is that most people are making things way more complicated than they have to because they are bored and like to play and most problems occur when one party doesn’t understand the game that the other one is playing. As long as people are respecting personal boundaries at the bar, I could care less.

      4th and final edit because I genuinely do not like talking about this: I will concede that perhaps it is not specifically a mentality, but more of a series of toxic behaviors that I notice. Perhaps they are completely unrelated, I’m not an anthropologist on this by any means.