Jason Vorhees
1313 Crystal Lake Rd
206-555-0123

To whom it may concern,

I discovered your Summer Camp Slasher position on StabbedIn, and I would like to know more about this position. I am a relentless killer who is up for a new challenge in murdering teens at camp. I think that I would be a good fit for this position because I have the ability to teleport, survive being shot/stabbed/set on fire, and am a dedicated problem solver.

I have 40 years of experience in menacing camp counsellors and have multiple endorsements from various local police departments. I am a dedicated killer who will keep coming back until the job is done or I am relieved of the position.

I believe this position will be a good fit for me, and I believe I will bring a lot of dread to the camp. Thank you for your consideration for this position, I look forward to meeting to discuss this opportunity and demonstrate my skills. I can be reached at the listed phone number or via email at jvorhees@crystallake.com.

Regards,

Jason Vorhees

Source: https://lemmy.world/comment/13596022

  • @superkret@feddit.org
    link
    fedilink
    11 month ago

    Sounds like a great fit for first level tech support.
    Will greatly reduce the escalation of tickets.
    And they won’t become homicidal psychopaths over time like every first level support worker, they already are.